March 11, 2015

An ode the the worst coffee ever.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was cranky. I just wanted to go back to sleep but knew I had to get up. I had jobs to hunt for, blog posts to write, pictures to take and a boyfriend to spend time with. Even though I was in a terrible mood I tried to work through it. I convinced myself to get up and make myself a latte, only to find out we we're completely out of espresso. I searched high and low looking for the back up bag I got when I still worked at starbucks. Finally after searching for a whole minute I found it. And brown and white bag of espresso, my salvation.
Image Des
The first clue this bag of coffee would just be a utter disappointment should have been the old logo. Meaning this bag was at least four years old. The second clue, was the ground was wrong. Espresso, as you know should be finely ground. This bag looked closer to the ground of flat bottom or cone. But I needed that sweet richness in me and idgaf. So I proceeded to pack and pour two shots of espresso. In the shot glass they looked good. Heck they even smelled good. So I poured them into my cup and added my hot milk, frothed to a perfection. I was happy. I had the piping hot cup of lies in front of me. And oh what a cup of lies it was.

A photo posted by shelby. (@teacupsandbruisedegos) on

The milk portion was perfect, but the espresso. I knew it was trouble, but I tried to make it work. I wanted that rich caramelly taste, but alas. I didn't get it. The taste I did get was akin to the taste of a warm cup of milk sprinkled with acid and disappointment. I didn't give up. I need my morning cup of joe. I wasn't going to let a cup of coffee defeat me. I need that sweet golden nectar, and tea just wasn't going to cut it this morning. At this point I should probably have been concerned about my dependence on caffeine. But whatever. During my search for the now useless bag of espresso I did notice a unopened box of keurig pods. So I dug out my old keurig. Made myself a cup of lukewarm Van Houtte light roast chocolate raspberry truffle coffee, with two shots of baileys and called it a day.
The instagram picture is of the lacklustre keurig coffee, not the latte of broken dreams.

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